The Farting Frog Farting Frog
Haiku, Sort Of
My baby left me
She ran off with some dumb guy
Who ironed his shirts
Mark McCarvill
  Table for one
My eggs surrounded by
All last night's couples.
Jim McKay
There across the bar
she stands, pouring me a drink.
Damn those perfect legs!
bakai
  i dropt out a skool
cawz i be smart an so cool
lernin is for fools
anonymous
Whipped, kicked and put out.
No mercy for an old dog.
Just the fleas are fat.
anonymous
  Words chiseled in stone.
Promises as good as gold.
In the end, just lies.
anonymous
Café alfresco.
Light nosh 'neath trees and teal sky.
Big bug in my soup.
anonymous
  Curling onion skins
discarded fragile armour
my portent of tears.
Pat G
Testy little brat
yells, "You ain't the boss-a-me!"
Oh, such a sad truth.
bakai
  Without hope, nothing.
Spring erodes, summer explodes,
souls wither and die.
liz-de-wiz
Mists rise in the night.
Moonlit wisps of delusion
Burnt off at sunrise.
marleen & Lida Jo
  Elegance defined
Woven well and threads so fine
I wore your haiku.
marleen
I love zoos, do you?
No, not particularly.
The baboons are nice.
anonymous
  Balancing my heart,
Between yesterday and you.
Dancing on a wire.
liz-de-wiz
Fifteen: Thin and cute.
Twenty-five: Trim and Stylish.
Forty: Jenny Craig.
anonymous
  Hungry lioness,
mistress of my bed, beckons.
I must gather strength.
anonymous
Silliness prevails
sneaking up and goosing me
tweaking my facade.
Tuckoos
  girlfriends after school
important secrets whispered
giggles overheard
anonymous
Night enfolds the room.
Endless quiet. Sleep descends.
Horrors lie in wait.
anonymous
  Please answer, she sobs.
Where is this going? What hope?
I haven't a clue.
anonymous
I'm so used to sleeping alone
I can do it
with my eyes closed
mary romeyn
  Too early or too late
is my continous dull plight
or too much too soon.
liz-de-wiz
Dine at the dumpster.
Estate in a shopping cart.
Alternate lifestyle.
bakai
  Gathering at dusk
A muttering of mallards
Lost in river's mist
Pat G
Envy that he spent
Like someone else's money
Left his cupboard bare.
Pat G
  Cruel demons abound,
tho not one so vile as he
who invented golf.
kadiz
Mindblown party days.
Blank sullen faces. Nasal drip.
Life in the fast lane.
anonymous
  That old love towel.
Faded recipes. A comb.
Hope she's doing well.
anonymous
hush your tired complaints
things this bad can soon get worse
life's a fickle bitch
bakai
  The computer nerd
hacks at his keys all day long.
Bits of life surf by.
mw
Boys in high-heeled shoes
toddle down old bleeker street
birds of a feather.
anonymous
  Friday night at Duke's.
Numb with drink and dull chatter.
Still kidding myself.
bakai
Learning's stirring wind
rustles minds and moves them on
to infinity.
Pat G
  At last light abounds.
A moment of clarity.
It's not about me.
liz-de-wiz
Beach stroll, warm sunset.
Neap tide lapping passive sands.
Tar stuck 'tween my toes.
bakai
  laying back arms spread
pin points of starlight pierce me
his semen spills out
Lemya
Too hot to make love.
Where did all those
Children come from?
Geoffrey Wilson
  Jealousy appears.
Words regretted. Calls ignored.
Love can be a bitch.
bakai
The wounded old stag,
pride bled away, resolve lost,
waits the setting sun.
bakai
  Open minds, cheerful faces.
Eager tots await my voice.
Help me say it right.
bakai
At night I listen to
The ugly song with which
Frogs worship God.
Geoffrey Wilson
  I lust, awaiting.
Quick, the little act is played.
Cash in hand, she leaves.
anonymous
House full of the past
No place for now, and no room
for the future dream
Lida Jo
  Clothes, hair, change of style.
Cold touch, vague conversation.
She's breaking my heart.
bakai
then, you skipped a stone
ripples spread and touched my heart
at the waters edge
marleen
  Ooops! TV just croaked.
Ohshit! Computer's on fire.
Damn! Nuthin' to do.
bakai
Once I noticed you
and tried to tell you so, but
you changed the subject.
Willow
  Broad-hipped fisherwives
scan the sea, gut the catch, and
criticize the priest.
helen
saw a shooting star
going east toward the morning
laughing at the night
Vita
  Cached within the lee
of a cold and sandy hill
wind worn tumbleweeds
Pat G
Between your wet thighs
I lay my head and gently
lick the dew of the moon.
anonymous
  You ain't nuthin' like
bicarbonate of soda.
You make my heart burn.
bakai
hot today
my scotch
needs more rocks
kadiz
  ringing phone
she's distracted
I dismount
kadiz
new perfume
I almost forget
her lies
kadiz
  counter person
she's so fine
I suck in my gut
kadiz
It's been a long time
No need to make up the bed
I'll be leaving soon
OsterOne
  bird overhead
passes judgement
on a new mercedes
bakai
Caught in Buick's grille
Page five of the L.A. Times
A dead pine needle.
anonymous
  my hand is unsure
it dares to touch the unknown
you make no protest
bakai
workin' my ass off
flat out balls to the wall
too pooped to pop
anonymous
  The bride all in white
Shares an awful secret with
Monsignor in black
liz-de-wiz & OsterOne
Surprise them, dear one
The hostile comment needs not
Your acknowledgement
OsterOne
  i wish i knew you
naked in chilly starlight
three hours before dawn
OsterOne
them two chimps is cute
havin' just a grand ol' time
pickin' at them lice
anonymous
  git this hound off me
foul breath and wettin' like that
goddamn ol' fleabag
bakai
acting is standing
naked and turning around
so very slowly
Rosalind Russell paraphrased
  before you could hang up
my machine caught
a half-second of bar noise
Tom Gilroy
Want to lose my mind.
Want to blow this popcorn stand.
Want to be with you.
anonymous
  The fat lady sang
The players have left the field
Why are you still here?
13-23
Her bourbon breakfast.
She's twenty-three, looks thirty.
And laughs at my fears.
anonymous
  You say that you've left
But I still find evidence
To the contrary.
anonymous
buried my baby
where the coyotes left him
never found his head
OsterOne
  some fables we cast
soar, poignant, on gilded wings
'til they hit the fan
anonymous
much earnest effort
a modicum of product
masturbation blues
bakai
  I'm ready to write
but first I'll belch, pick my nose
scratch my ass and fart.
bakai
Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am
Up at six then out the door
Back at ten for more.
Candy Floss
  naively I suck
the tit of disillusion
how bitter the mead
anonymous
if love could be parsed
torn apart, reassembled
'twould still make no sense
anonymous
  my hand is a dog
had it a nose and a tongue
my guests would be few
anonymous
words can be pretty
some can be ugly, be blah
and then there's smegma
anonymous
  so many people
laughing and loud talking groups
and then there is me
liz-de-wiz
Lonely kingsize bed.
Warm little bubble on a
cold vast empty sea.
liz-de-wiz
  the fool that I am
the fool you want me to be
won't be home tonight
bakai
Settle down, baby
Kick off those practical shoes
Relax and enjoy.
liz-de-wiz & OsterOne
  Over a table
hands touch, gazes interlock.
Hunger for dessert.
kadiz
gunmetal gray sky
ugly crows perched on a wire
somethin's gonna die
anonymous
  Never had to bend
to the pressure of the wind.
Never grew too tall.
Pat G
Old coyote trots
On the trail of come what may
Winter in his legs
Pat G
  Laughter speaks to me
like gentle windchimes stirring
in the dawn's first breeze.
Pat G
I opened my heart
My chest of drawers. And a
poem came tumbling out.
dreamer
  evening boulevards
neon lights and taxicabs
jewelry and smiles
bakai
Mirth is heaven's gift
Whimsy is life's guiding light
God is just a smile
anonymous
  Upon reflection
I would not have changed a thing
Just the drapes, maybe.
13-23
I'm so damn hungry
Allright, here comes the lunch truck
I'll take that gray thing
anonymous
  it doesn't take much
to keep me fat and happy
oh wait, yes it does
MoFo Rising
She walked right through me
little titties a bouncin'
all over my heart
anonymous
  I walked in silence
Toward the edge of my thoughts
And then disappeared
Richard Silver
Looking back, she sighs,
"A jerk with a wit, how quaint".
Then she slams the door.
anonymous
  lost that great job when
my boss caught me smoking pot
while fucking his wife
Hollywood Bonfire
She loved my poems,
poured me drinks and never bitched.
I should have kept her.
bakai
  At the ancient pond
a frog plunges into
the sound of water
Basho
Even in Kyoto,
how I long for Kyoto
when the cuckoo sings
Basho
  Sick on my journey,
only my dreams will wander
these desolate moors
Bahso
This ruined temple
should have its sad tale told
only by a clam digger
Basho
  nothing much to show
for a life so blithely spent
some cigarette ash
bakai
tuesday we quarreled
wednesday I sent you a poem
thursday you were gone
anonymous
  summer wind's hot breath
purple clover, fresh cut hay
iced tea memory
marleen
tuesday we quarreled
wednesday I sent you a poem
thursday you were gone
anonymous
  the thought of running
naked through fields of tall grass
just tickles my ass
bakai
that raspberry jam
it's so right on my bagel
so wrong on my slacks
anonymous
  convenience or need
demonic or just inspired
love's an illusion
anonymous
whilst meditating,
came to mind this golden truth:
my thoughts are a bore
kadiz
  he touched my heart,
and disappeared laughing,
teaching me to see.
liz-de-wiz
this earth turns her back
to the light once every day
to conceal her shame
anonymous
  he touched my heart,
and disappeared laughing,
teaching me to see.
liz-de-wiz
They built a moat round
The trailer park to keep out
Undesirables
Mark Moehrke
  All i see is blue
Wait. My shirt is over my head
I am getting dressed
anonymous
throwing knives at birds
is something I'm not proud of
but I am the best
Hollywood Bonfire
  if the world's a stage
let me see the director
need to change my lines
questioning
give me sinatra
kansas city steaks and scotch
give me the voice of men
sketch
  what would stir you up
tempting you from your retreat
my mind or my legs?
marleen
reality sits
like a ridiculous toad
on your little head
Thunder Stork
  A token gesture.
A stylish lecher lights a
Lady's cigarette.
Stuart Reed
Most of existence
Is better at a distance.
Take love for instance.
Stuart Reed
  These are good hands, strong
but not tough. They always know
what needs to be touched.
Debra Schorn
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