Haiku evolved from a four-hundred year old poetry form that was developed in Japan, called "renga".

Writing a renga involved the collaboration of several poets who each contributed verses. It took perhaps a hundred verses to complete a renga. Quite a day's work.

The first verse of a renga was called "hokku", and in time some of the poets began spouting their hokku independent of the renga, thereby saving themselves a good portion of the day to contemplate life over a cup of sake and a plate of uncooked tuna.

Thus began haiku. Like the hokku, haiku traditionally consisted of seventeen syllables in three non-rhyming lines. The first line had five, the second, seven, and the last had five.

It was decided that a haiku should include a word that named or suggested a season, and that the poem itself should celebrate nature in some way.

It is reasonable to assume that back then, as now, some creative souls chose to ignore these rules and use this wonderfully concise poetry form to express anything they damn well pleased. Even Basho, the first great haiku poet, certainly had his moments of fun with it.

So here we are today, scoffing the purists, and indulging gleefully in our blasphemies.

This is not to say that haiku should be taken lightly. No, no, no. We would be remiss in our poetic responsibilities if we chose to take this path.

How can we, the average haikupersons, approach the creation of one of these little gems in a respectful and creative way, confident that fame and fortune will soon follow?

First, a word about words. Words are our friends. Do not be afraid of them. Do not be intimidated by them. Do not be repulsed by them. Do not spell them incorrectly or use them in wrongful ways which always diminishes the power of what we are trying to express.

Do not be slothful in the use of a dictionary or thesaurus. Therein lie the diamonds for our settings, we need only to find them. Once we have the words, the rest is a piece of cake. Haiku practically write themselves.

Let's sum it all up:
1. Get the very best words available on the market today.
2. Put them in the very best order that you possibly can.
3. Dot your eyes, cross your tease.
4. Read it nine times, then ask yourself these questions:
Do the words flow in an intelligent fashion? Is it a poem? Does it express a feeling, give an impression of a moment, invoke the drama of an experience, share an insight, state a subtle or universal truth, paint a trompe l'oeil of a vignette of nature, or tickle the funny bone? And, if so, is it written in such a way that these simple little qualities will be successfully realized by the reader with a reasonable amount of effort on his or her part?

If the answer to these questions is "yes", go directly to Section IX, Line Item 10.

If the answer to these questions is "no", I'm sure there are several reputable trade schools in your area.